July 7,1807
Hey there my Corsican Kitties, its your one and only here, and boy, do I have a scoop for you today... It was just announced that Napoleon Bonaparte and Tsar Alexander I have signed The Treaty of Tilsit. This treaty will change all of Europe for the better. One of the best things about this treaty is that it has unified France with Russia, although that might not be the only relationship brewing. This could be the biggest news to happen in Europe since our dearly departed Jean-Paul Marat left us all those years ago. He is the reason I have made it my personal mission to deliver all the best stories and news from all over Europe to you: my lovely kittens. Anyway, back to one of the biggest scandals in all of Europe.I have acquired a picture that will BLOW YOUR MINDS. Is this the start of something? I'll let you decide...
Yep. That definitely looks like something more if you ask me. This painting was created by a source who would wish to remain anonymous, but we cant thank them enough. This is a scene of the two of them on a raft in the middle of the Neman River in the town of Tilsit fresh of Napoleons victory at Friedland, supposedly sometime after the signing of the treaty, but it has us all guessing. Does our great Emperor Napoleon swing both ways? It definitely looks like it. To add to this, I have discovered a letter from Napoleon himself to his wife Josephine. I know, I know, you love me right? In this discovered document Napoleon states "If Alexander was a woman, I would make him my mistress." STEAMY. I personally think Napoleon was protecting his own masculinity when speaking about if Alexander was only a woman. But alas, while all this is cute, they aren't meant for each other. You cant love someone as deeply as we all hope they would when you have those pesky Austrians to worry about!
You know you love me,
xoxo
The Cat of Corsica
**We have reached out to Alexander and Napoleon as well as well as their publicists for any confirmations but have yet to receive word from them.**
***UPDATE: July 9, 1807:
On behalf of our Great Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte, we are issuing a retraction of this subject. The evidence we have provided is not legitimate as it was obtained by private sources, or by intrusive and invasive means. Anything said in this article is deemed untrue beside the fact that the Treaty of Tilsit was indeed signed by both Tsar Alexander I and Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte in the River of Neman in Tilsit. We apologize to both dignitaries for any speculation about their sexual orientation that was uncalled for. We also apologize to all of their loved ones as this would have definitely caused discomfort between them and their relationships between themselves and Alexander and Napoleon respectively.***